A Child’s Garden of Guardians
10 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in Parenting Tags: beautiful, beliefs, child, children, experiences, garden, guardians, mind, parenting, purpose, Robert Louis Stevenson
“When you don’t know who you are, you create a mind-made self as a substitute for your beautiful devine being, and cling to that fearful and needy self.”
~ Eckhart Tolle, from Stillness Speaks
I often loved reading Robert Louis Stevenson’s poems in his book, A Children’s Garden of Verses. I remember particularly loving the poem, “I Have a Little Shadow.” It goes like this – “I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me, and what can be the use of him is more than I can see. He’s very, very like me from my heels up to my head, and I see him jump before me when I jump into my bed…”
As a child, I played with my shadow. I loved making it big and small, long and short, fat and squatty, and had a playful time attempting to step on its head…oh that was so much fun! Now this shadow was truly harmless for it only mimicked my playful spirit. I never saw it sulk or pout, or feel less than, or not know its worth.
Now, as I grew, I began planting a garden with a variety of beliefs about myself. These beliefs I chose for my garden from listening to sources outside myself, such as my parent’s, friends, and teachers. These ‘guardians’ meant well in their awareness. They watered my garden with spiritual water, sometimes they totally forgot, and other times the energy of that water was murky, and clouded. Looking up to these ‘guardians’ that supported me in defining who I am, I took on many thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that did not nourish my soul. I created a garden of value judgments that were not me in my essence, and guess what??!! I created a new kind of shadow. Not quite like the one I used to play with as a young child.
We all have our shadows…our judgments around values, and what we should or shouldn’t do. Then we beat ourselves up, when we don’t adhere to what we have come to believe about who we are, and how we should show up in the world. What I know to be true, is that these shadows are our gifts, in that they show us who we are not, in order that we have something to compare to that which we are. We would not know ourselves, Who We Really Are, if it weren’t for these beliefs and experiences of who we are not.
So back to the child, and that playful little shadow in the garden with the ‘guardians.’ What if our ‘guardians,’ be they parents, teachers, schools, institutions, or whatever, become mindful of their role? In that awareness, not only are they mindful, they understand that when a child behaves in an ‘inappropriate’ way, it is simply because they are holding a belief about themselves through their own personal experience, while playing in their garden of life’s experiences. They accept a belief that does not lift them to the highest vision of who they really are, and one not in alignment with their soul’s sole purpose, their essence, their child of spirit.
As Guardians of their Gardens, let’s be the container (model) filled with tools that remind the children of who they are. Allow them to think and discern for themselves. Allow them to honor their feelings through listening. Acknowledge what is so for them in the moment. This is not about what you believe, but giving them the tools to listen to their own wisdom and inner voice to discern what they believe. Listen and they will tell you. Ask them, what are you thinking? What are you feeling? What do you really want? Remind them that when the shadow shows up that this is not who they are. Offer them new tools. Sprinkle these delicate plants with warmth, gentleness, integrity, and love. Guide them with these new tools, and allow them to see they can always make a different choice of who they choose to be, by what they think, feel, and really want. These choices allow them to start anew in each and every moment. They will begin to “uncover” the real me as they begin to experience life and learning in an empowering and response-able way.
Behold and remember…All shadows are a gift, and can lead us to “the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever of Who You Are.”
